The Single and the Self-Centered Life

The single life naturally draws one towards self-centeredness. In the United States it is at times even worse.

Those raised with an American mindset also have to battle against individualism. In The Good Society, sociologist Robert Bellah and his coauthors challenge people in the United States to evaluate their lives. There are growing numbers of homeless people, broken families, racial tensions, unemployment, and scandal. They point to the American sense of heightened individualism as a major hindrance to finding a solution to these problems. This sense of individualism can be traced back to America’s Founding Fathers who promised individual freedom, unlimited opportunity, and minimized government.

Stressors of Singleness

In preparation for this writing the author received input from various single ministers. Most were done by face to face interviews, others by email, and others solely by their writings and perspectives as single ministers. Their views have been brought together to understand the stressors in the lives of single ministers.

When interviewed their most mentioned struggles were with loneliness, a lack of accountability, a search for significance, discontentment, self-pity and at times too much freedom. Others also talked about their difficulty of balancing control, compromise, and submission. Most singles would be familiar with these struggles but when combined with the demands of ministry that have already been mentioned it becomes fertile soil for certain types of temptations.

Making Room for the Things of God

Several years ago God got my attention. I was living my life in a way where the money coming in was equal to the money going out. Now for some that would be great compared to maybe what your finances look like right now, but God began to convict me. At the same time he began to convict my heart concerning my schedule. I was always working on something and had no extra time.

Unique Needs of Singles in Ministry

The need of single ministers and missionaries is a unique need. It is a coming together of the challenges of the ministry combined with the challenges of being single. In some cases the combination helps, while in many instances it produces heightened areas of vulnerability. The struggle may be with loneliness, control, self-worth, contentment, purpose, or a variety of temptations that seem to gain strength as singleness and ministry rub against each other on a daily basis.  If these areas are not handled well they will lead to catastrophic results. There is a need for single ministers to better discern their areas of vulnerability, the role of the heart in their struggles, and the resources that God has provided to guard their hearts, lives, and ministries.